I was really upset to see that someone had used this search term to find my blog. Not only that, but my blog was on the 4th page of the Google results. (It linked to this post.) Some girl went through all those pages because she felt that shitty about herself and was just looking for something to cheer her up.
There are lots of things I could say about this topic, but I’ll keep it to a list of 10 things.
- You are not ugly. Beauty is entirely subjective. I think Drake (he’s a singer, or a rapper, or something like that…) is really unattractive. Same with Justin Beiber, Brad Pitt, and Leonardo DiCaprio (Do people really think he’s attractive? His face is so… facey). Thousands (possibly millions) of women would disagree with me. Does that make me wrong? Does that make them wrong? No. It means we have different opinions. That’s fine. Those women can go after all the buff “hot” guys and I’ll make my move on all the half-starved looking computer nerds with big noses (seriously, love those big noses).
- You are not ugly. Attraction comes from biology and genetics. The people that are found to be more universally attractive just have better face symmetry. They were healthier as children and their parents had better genes. Sometimes, it just happens randomly. You have literally no control over how you look just like you have no control over who you find attractive. With millions of people in the world I guarantee that there is at least one person out there whose ideal partner looks just like you.
- You are not ugly. LOOKS AREN’T EVERYTHING. Your face could literally look like this and that would not make you an ugly person. The shape of the skin on your face doesn’t change your wit, or your athletic skill, or your kind heart. What you have inside really counts. Hot girls can’t get away with acting like bitches all the time without their boyfriends dumping them. Good looks aren’t some portal to a magical place. We’re all people. (Though pretty people are more likely to get hired, so fuck y’all for that.)
- You are not ugly. Middle school sucks. High school sucks. Life sucks. There are assholes everywhere. People will tell you you’re ugly just to hurt you. In middle school they said I was so dirty that I had lice directly after a presentation that explained how people who are obsessively clean were the ones who got lice. One girl even went so far as to say my shoes didn’t match my outfit (we wore uniforms). There will be bullies wherever you go in life and they will always say the worst things about you. More often than not, these things aren’t true. I know it’s hard, but you have to ignore them.
- You are not ugly. Seriously. You don’t even know what ugly is. Here is the standard definition. (Ignore all the pugs. PUGS ARE MAJESTIC AS FUCK).
- Boys will like you. Actually, I’m lying. Boys may never like you. However, once you grow up you’ll be dating men, not boys. Boys pick their noses and make fart jokes and tease girls for having braces. Actually, men do two out of three of those things, but in addition they also become mature adults who can take the world seriously (… for the most part). Just because a boy doesn’t like you now (or a man, this applies to adults) doesn’t mean one never will. You’ll find someone. There are literally billions of people out there. You can pick out one here (though I’d mind the color you pick, otherwise it might turn out to be quite the long distance relationship.)
- Boys will like you. I too thought that boys would never like me. I’ve always been boy crazy, but I was never pretty enough for it to work out in my favor. I lost count of how many crushes I had on boys and not one liked me back. (I can say this with some certainty. I had a small class and I had a crush on every guy in my class at one point. They all totally had their chance.) It really depressed me that I went through my entire teenage years without ever having someone have a crush on me. (I actually did have two boyfriends, but they were dating me because I had lady parts, not because of who I was. You don’t want a boyfriend like that, who’ll date literally anyone for the sake of having a girlfriend. I felt 100% replaceable and broke up with them quickly. Neither of them was upset at all.)
- Boys will like you. As I said in number seven, I thought that I would literally never get a boyfriend. All I wanted for a boy to hug me and hold me close and tell me that I was all his… and it took me about a week to find one. On the Facebook page for my university, someone accidentally tagged my boyfriend while typing out the name of my residence hall. My boyfriend replied saying “Lol, this isn’t me, but I do happen to live in this hall as well.” I saw his profile picture (skinny, big nose, nerdy computer science major) and freaked out because I knew that he lived in my dorm!
I saw him walking back and forth to the dining hall and couldn’t find the courage to say anything to him in person, so I messaged him on Facebook acting like I wanted to get to know people living in my dorm. (I added literally no one else from my dorm. I even deleted my roommate before the semester was through.) We talked like four hours that first night about the most random things (though I do believe that cannibalism was mentioned). The next night I decided to go to McDonalds and accidentally get an extra apple pie. I came back and messaged him on Facebook saying that I would trade the pie for manual labor if he’d come over and get the nasty dead moth out of the light over my bed.
He came over and got it, then took the pie and left. I was not to be deterred, so when he mentioned he wasn’t doing anything I told him to get his butt back there so we could watch Harry Potter. The conversation was awkward as HELL, but luckily my roommate came back hungover to our room and threw up in her bed to give me an excuse to escape to his room. We kept talking and went from strangers to dating in about two weeks. We fell in love equally fast.
Obviously, that story involves a lot of good luck, but it’s a reminder that love is out there for everyone. Return to number six if you don’t believe me.
- Girls will like you. Mmhmm, switching it up on this one. In case there are any males in the audience today, I would like to remind you not to give up hope either. As a girl, I can confirm that all of you are awesome. I don’t care what you look like, if you’re nice to me I will like you (though at the moment I am taken, so don’t send me any weird messages). No matter your body type, there is a girl out there who will love you. (I… I can’t find a link to a motivational site about how all men are beautiful, so here is this instead.)
- The fate of the world does not depend on your relationship status. This is SUPER hypocritical for me to write, I’ll admit. I don’t know what I’d do without my boyfriend. He’s really the only thing that keeps me sane. I was really depressed before I met him and I’ve been doing a lot better since we started dating. However, a boyfriend did not solve all my problems. I’m still going to graduate college with $50,000~ in debt. I still have a terrible temper. I still get depressed from time to time, and I still have self esteem issues. I don’t suddenly have lots of close friends and my life hasn’t suddenly gotten easier since we started dating. A boyfriend doesn’t fix everything and you don’t need a boyfriend to fix your life.
I hope this helps at least one person. I want to end this by saying “I love you all,” but that wouldn’t be realistic. I’m a grumpy person and I hate lots of people for really stupid reasons. If it makes you feel better, your looks won’t determine whether I like you or not (though I admit being preferential to men because that is the gender I want to sex, sorry ladies).
(I talked mostly about cisgendered heterosexuals because of the fact that I am a straight female. I realize that LGBTQ people go through the same kinds of problems, but you should all be smart enough to see how this advice could carry over to girl-girl relationships and such.)