Love is Obsession?

I admit that at 20 years of age I am not worldly or experienced, nor have I read all the world of literature has to offer. However, it seems like recently, there is a new trend.


Now, obsession isn’t new. It’s been used before and I’ve read it portrayed accurately: as a character flaw.

I love my boyfriend. I am not obsessed with him. I don’t follow him around, go through his phone, or read through his emails. I don’t demand to be with him any second of the day or threaten bodily harm to anyone who touches him. That would not be sexy. That would be creepy.

Only… is it creepy? 50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, Apolonia, and Viper Game. These are all fairly new books that have not love, not romance, but obsession.

Christian Gray stalks Ana, buys her a new car without her permission, and doesn’t allow her to see her male friends.

Edward watches Bella while she sleeps in addition to all the creepy stuff E. L. James stole for 50 Shades.

In Apolonia, the main character is the interest of two boys, both of whom want to follow her around at all times.

Viper Games, a book I’m reading right now, has a main character who is genetically enhanced to be pretty and sexy, and the male lead threatens to kill his own best friends if they dare touch her. Literally, touch. As in, handshake. He tells her not to seduce another man or else she’ll be responsible for their deaths and he doesn’t want that.

*Sigh* Soooo romantic.

Do women want this? To be obsessed over? Is love no longer enough?

Obsession: an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind

When a man obsessive over you, you are literally all he thinks about. There is no time for fun or games or work or personality, only you. That’s what the characters in these books are like and these books are flying off the shelves. What’s wrong with the market that this is what is selling? Is it something wrong with women? Have we been duped into believing that love isn’t enough, that we need fanatical devotion and obsession?

What are your thoughts on this? Is this a new trend, or just something I’m now picking up on?

7 thoughts on “Love is Obsession?

  1. Well, I think this is not a trend but a way to love like any other. Except this one is not healthy…Maybe it’s something some people need so they can feel safe. If everything feels right, I don’t think I or rather we need to be someone’s obsession..
    With these characters, I think it’s linked to the fact that they don’t trust enough. They have no faith in what or who they are, and in what they can do the person they love. They don’t see the relationship as it is but as it might be. Edward always worries about the pain and the hurt Bella might experience because of him. So he needs to watch over her, he can’t help it and he feels like she is his responsibility. After all, she means the world to him, right? But even if they get moments of happiness, they’re not deeply happy… not yet.
    And maybe it’s the same phenomenon in real life. Maybe people need to be comforted, touched, guarded and/or overprotected to somehow feel they are loved. But if obsession is not love, maybe it’s some kind of step?
    Your post asks a really good question! 🙂


    • I’m just worried about what the next generation is going to think after all these books if the trend continues. “Oh! He’s not following me in public or demanding I have no male friends, he must not love me!”


  2. I can’t stand those kinds of books because those characters are like robots to me. They are built to have only one purpose (the obsession) and they have no feelings. Why would I want to read a book about a robotic character like that who has no personality or feelings? As a reader you do not feel a bond between that character because that character doesn’t want a bond with the reader.

    Unless the character is an actual robot… well, then I guess that’s a different story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You bring up a really great point! I agree, you are absolutely right.
    I think this idea of “obsession” comes from women (and people in general) wanting to feel validated and secure. I personally do not want to be obsessed over, but more along the lines of adored. ❤ I think people fantasize about a good man, who tend to be like the unicorn (can't catch em, not sure if they really exist) to worship and dwell over the woman, rather than the other way around. Just needy women wanting to feel needed back.

    Liked by 1 person

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