Minor warning: This post may contain very adult themes such as the ones explored in 50 Shades of Grey.
I am 50 shades of annoyed right now. For those of you who have missed this (and I would have had my favorite blogger not been on the case) there is a new 50 Shades of Grey. How, you ask? Didn’t the last book leave our couple married with children?
Well yes, indeed it did. So the only way forward was back, back to the beginning with a different character’s POV. Ladies and gentlemen, the
abuse-advocating thieving terrible hypocritical idiotic brilliant E. L. James has come out with another book. Well, I don’t know if it’s actually out yet or if it was just leaked (as Midnight Sun was) but either way, it’s called Grey. As in, Christian Grey. As in the exact same stupid plot and stupid characters from 50 Shades, only E. L. James is hoping that women will pay to masturbate to Christian Grey’s side of their sexual interactions since they’ve got the pages of 50 Shades all stuck together. (Yeah, okay, so women don’t really stick the pages together like that, but whatever.)
The good news is that Grey seems even creepier when shown with his own POV than he did in 50 Shades. Honestly, I understand women wanting to read about something new and sexually exciting that was previously very taboo to talk about, but really? Did 50 Shades have to be that book?
At least Twilight can say that it accurately portrays how a lot of young girls feel while falling in love, but 50 Shades of Grey is a steaming pile of shit. Like, Anna goes in and gets a million dollars (or something like that) and stuffs it into a bag to pay a kidnapper. And the bank allows this. And doesn’t question it. When she isn’t even the account holder. It’s like a second grader was the one fact checking this during the editing. (Seriously guys, this actually happened. Wtf.)
If for any reason any of you are curious about Grey, Jenny Trout is going to read each chapter for us so that we don’t have to. Here.
If for any reason any of you want to read 50 Shades of Grey, Jenny Trout did the same thing with all three books. Here.
If for any reason any of you want to read the actual 50 Shades of Grey, don’t. The Boss series is a fantastic alternative that will give you the same sexy billionaire BDSM, but without the bullshit that has confused many a housewife. Here.