I’m watching Independence Day and I want to know why there aren’t any realistic alien movies. I’ve come up with some ideas for Hollywood.
Aliens find Earth, act like friends, then slowly impose a puppet government over the entire earth to extract resources like America would do to any other planet.
Aliens finds Earth, but they’re dumb as fuck. Basically alien teenagers who got lost at Alpha Section 6 and allow us to treat them like gods in The Road to El Dorado fashion.
Aliens find Earth, they think we’re dumb as fuck. They treat us as completely insignificant and ignore us like ants.
Aliens come to earth and refuse to acknowledge our world leaders. They’ll only talk to the idiot stoner they met upon landing and make everyone go through him.
Aliens come to earth and bring a terrible disease. Accidentally kill us all. Feel really bad, but only as bad as Americans felt for killing all the Native Americans.
Aliens come to earth fleeing a terrible sun explosion or something that destroyed their home planet. We impose a quota system and only let a few in each year. The rest chill in a ghetto on the moon.
Aliens come to earth. They sneak up on a guy’s porch at night in Florida and get shot dead. Man goes free, we start a war with the aliens.
Aliens come to earth saying the escaped from something terrible. There are too many of them so we end up capturing them and putting them in concentration camps. We experiment on them and kill most of them, and at the end we find out that they are actually humans from millions of years in the future, escaping an apocalyptic earth and unknowingly going back in time. We killed ourselves.
Aliens come to earth, they’re not any more exciting than we are. Talk mostly about taxes and low military pay, and how private donors had to fund their space program to get them there.
We go to an alien planet. There is bacteria and worms and not much else, but no oxygen to sustain us. Billions of dollars is spent getting an astronaut infected with Super Ebola to kill the entire planet upon his return.
Edit: My dad thinks that for 5 the disease should wipe out everyone but the Native Americans. “Everyone likes a revenge movie,” he said.
Waldo of “Where’s Waldo?” for those of you who don’t know.
When I started blogging, I had no followers, just like the rest of you. I just started off by making a post that said “Hi, I’m new to blogging!” then by posting whatever I wanted to blog about. For the most part, that’s writing-related posts, but I don’t limit myself to that. I also posted thoughts on other matters such as Barbie dolls and the Alex Day scandal, as well as blue Sour Patch Kids and the title of “Basic Bitch.”
While my followers mostly look at my writing posts, which is evident in the comments and views following the day I post it, the broader topics are the ones getting my blog on the top of Google. People come here looking for basic bitches, Alex Day, and motivational posts. Overall, those viewers contribute very little, never leave comments (or when they do, they’re ignorant ones like BITCH HOW DARE U SAY DAT bleh bleh blah that I filter out) and never have an account to like or follow me, but the truth is that those views are the ones we need.
I published a book in September and I’ve posted links to it EVERYWHERE. I put it at the end of my most Googled post, put it in the sidebar, have a link in the menu to my author blog… basically, if you come to my blog, you’re going to see it. I check the stats page every day and there are always clicks on my Amazon and author blog links. That means that some of the people who are coming to my blog are looking at my book! That’s great! It doesn’t matter that it’s only 5 people a day and they don’t buy it. Considering that I’m still new to blogging, I think it’s a pretty significant accomplishment.
Tips to make your blog more visible:
Give every post a good title. Don’t make it “This is how I do it” before going into your workout routine. “This is how I do it” means nothing to most people. “Tips For a Great Workout Routine For Lazy People” is obviously better.
Repeat yourself. See how I have my title for this post and then the title of this list? Both phrases can be used by Google to find me, rather than just one.
Vary what you post, but not too much. If your blog has no theme, you’re not going to get as many followers (unless you happen to be funny). I post mostly about writing and self-publishing, as well as book reviews, but I don’t hesitate to post something else that’s on my mind. My followers see that most of my posts are relevant, and people from Google find the non-relevant ones.
Comment on other blogs. Not just a “Alright!” or “Congrats!” I admit that I do that, but only when I genuinely want to congratulate the person. When you want someone to check out your blog, do NOT post “Oh hey check out my blog.” Add to the discussion with a similar problem you’ve been facing or with a polite opposing view. Not only is the blog owner more likely to check out your blog, but if it’s a bigger blog, their followers may as well.
Don’t be fake. You don’t want meaningless followers. Sure, it looks good to have 500 followers, but does it mean anything if they never comment on your stuff? If they don’t care about your book or your life, they’re just a number? Don’t sell your blog as a fashion blog and then critique feminism. Don’t title your blog “My Witty Ramblings” and then complain about college the whole time. Market yourself correctly so that the right people will see you.
Make each post the best that it can. Lots of people are turned off by bad grammar and spelling. If I click on a blog that looks interesting but they have a mistake in whatever post happens to be on the top, I click away and never return.
Don’t spam your followers. Have a book coming out? Then yes, feel free to mention that in ever post. However, don’t just post six posts saying, “MY BOOK IS COMING OUT.” That’s how you lose followers. Make a post about editing, then marketing, then how you’re handling your nerves. If you’re selling something, let everyone know that by making it visible, but unless it is the sole focus of your blog (as in, no blog posts, you’re just here for a business website) you need to make people want to come to your blog in the first place to see what you’re selling.
On an unrelated note, I almost died last night because the interstate turned to ice and I had no idea until I saw the other accidents. For those of you in the north, remember to drive safely!
“Meet Rose Feller, a thirty-year-old high-powered attorney with a secret passion for romance novels. She has an exercise regime she’s going to start next week, and she dreams of a man who will slide off her glasses, gaze into her eyes, and tell her she’s beautiful. She also dreams of getting her fantastically screwed-up, semi-employed little sister to straighten up and fly right.
Meet Rose’s sister, Maggie. Twenty-eight years old and drop-dead gorgeous. Although her big-screen stardom hasn’t progressed past her left hip’s appearance in a Will Smith video, Maggie dreams of fame and fortune — and of getting her big sister on a skin-care regimen.
These two women, who claim to have nothing in common but a childhood tragedy, DNA, and the same size feet, are about to learn that they’re more alike than they’d ever imagined. Along the way, they’ll encounter a diverse cast of characters — from a stepmother who’s into recreational Botox to a disdainful pug with no name. They’ll borrow shoes and clothes and boyfriends, and eventually make peace with their most intimate enemies — each other.”
You know that roommate you never want to deal again? The one you were paired with freshman year who snooped through your stuff and puked on your bed? That’s Maggie. You know the girl who studied so hard in middle school that everyone knew she was going to an Ivy League college? That’s Rose. When Maggie gets kicked out and has to crash at Rose’s place, along with a slightly stolen pug and an impressive shoe collection, they’re both reminded of how much they truly loathe each other, and learn to get over it. Sorta. Eventually.
I enjoyed reading about a character with a learning disability. It was a good portrayal, I think.
I really enjoyed the romance aspect of it.
Overall, I enjoyed the book. There was an interesting plot, I enjoyed how the characters were portrayed, and I felt like everything was wrapped up well at the end.
I enjoyed their grandmother too.
Jeers (possible spoilers):
The book moved a little slow. I guess that’s just part of the genre, but still.
Rose seemed a little shallow. There is more to a person than a history of being bullied and liking to read.
Not enough pug.
There was one POV of Jim that we didn’t need. At all. I didn’t want to know that he was fat and bullied and a bumbling virgin before he got attractive, that didn’t make me like him more, it made me like him less. Tons of people are bullied and they don’t turn out to be dickwads.
Would I recommend it?:
I bought it at Goodwill because it had a pug on the back, and I’d recommend you do the same. It’s on Amazon for $0.01, so you shouldn’t have trouble getting it cheap. It’s not the sort of book I’ve give raving reviews about, jumping in my seat to recommend it, but it was enjoyable and it kept me interested.
I found this and it reminded me that I have school work and writing work that needs to be done. I’m not in a very productive mood because I’ve been cut off from ibuprofen and whatnot for my upcoming surgery so I’ve had a headache for two days. Blogging will be postponed until I get all my final assignments out of the way (there are six, four of which involve writing). Poo.
I can’t quit my day job because I have student loans to repay. I’ll keep writing anyway.
I have one friend who thinks I’m going to sell millions of copies of my books (unrealistic) but basically everyone else just says “meh” when I say I’ve already published one book. I’ll keep writing anyway.
The attitude today seems to be that anyone can write a novel. Oh well. I’ll keep writing anyway.
I’ve only reached a handful of people with my blog, and even fewer with my book. I’ll keep writing anyway.
I might not be the next big hit, or even a hidden gem among writers. I might just be average. I’ll keep writing anyway.
My books aren’t some literary explosion of genius, they’re just meant to entertain. I’ll keep writing anyway!
There’s no daily reward for my work. I don’t save lives or change people’s outlook on life. Each word can sometimes be a struggle, and I don’t see the fruits of my labor until months after I write that first word. I’ll keep writing anyway!
I don’t have a writing nook. I don’t have scheduled writing hours that I can write. I don’t have a ritual, I don’t have time to write some days, and sometimes I feel like the real world has sucked out all of my writing energy. I’ll keep writing anyway!
My professors are not amused. Too biased. Too personal. Try to be serious. I’ll keep writing anyway!
I can’t write everything I want without giving up my real life. I’ll keep writing anyway!
I need to keep my apartment clean and make time for my boyfriend. I can’t skip showering to write, and I need to eat at some point. Sleep, too. I’ll keep writing anyway!
It is. Seriously. Like I understand why some self-published books look like poo. A lot of effort needs to go into those books to make them legit.
Here is a gif related to nothing.
But yeah, if I can’t get a real job after school I’m totally going to start my own self-publishing business. Just basically connecting with authors who want to self-publish and formatting/editing/finding a cover for them at a reasonable cost. I’ll be prepared for it by then, because I’ll have two or three of my own books published by then and also I’ll have worked for two years at my school’s writing center. Let me tell you, you have not seen the decline of America’s education system until you’ve read the ENGL100 papers that I’ve seen.
School starts Monday, and my last day of work is tomorrow. I have to pack all my stuff up for school (and it’s an apartment, not just a dorm, so I also have to shop for food and such) and head there on Friday, I have a job interview on Saturday AND I’m volunteering to answer Freshmen questions for two hours AND my parents are coming up with some bigger things that won’t fit in my car, then Sunday will basically be preparing for school. I won’t be posting a lot until I settle in, probably.
However, this is also a reminder that Kiss of The Fey will be out on the 1st! I barely have any time left. I thought that I’d be set for August 1st and I was like no, I’ll wait just in case, and thank god I did. I’m ordering my (hopefully) last proof copy with all the final corrections as soon as CreateSpace is done approving the files.
Basically there is a lot going on right now. A lot. No time for blogging, only packing.
It seems to me that this is my first blog post. Because of this, I don’t expect many people to see this post so the welcome is mostly for myself. I’ve decided to start blogging as an extension of my writing. I just think that it will be nice to have a place to publicize a little, even if I’m the only one reading this.
Now then, a little bit about me. My name is Bethany Charlotte. I’m a writer and currently a college student. I plan to publish my novels independently under Createspace and Amazon. I like ice tea and my favorite season is mid-season when each season changes (and you can’t tell me that isn’t a real season because I say it is and so there).
So now that you know everything you could possibly learn about me, feel free to go about your business.